duminică, 26 iunie 2011

250 New Features

This summer I have more than 250 new features. The new version of Me.X is cooler and sexier than ever. This summer, especially for you, I'm getting a six-pack. I know, it's been done before, but never like what is going to happen with Me. It will be just amazing. Also, I have in store for you a new smile, totally redesigned. Let me tell you how I did it: we put together six working groups from all ethnical backgrounds, men and women. This is how I found out I am the most popular with the Asian crowd, which finds me extremely sexy, to the point of prolonged physical pain. Anyways, we showed pictures of all types of smile I could make to the groups and they decided which complemented my face the best.

This is just the beginning. I am now more updated in music, fashion, politics and social matters as ever.
Thanks to my new brain I perform new connections between things and I have an increasing memory area. I am more attentive to people problems as the psyche doctors focused to remediate the issue that has been noted with the late two versions. Now I am less egocentric and I have increased patience. I can organise things in a better way and I benefit from a renewed sense of beauty. I cut down on sarcasm and disbelief, I am more good natured and appreciative, basically I've got wiser.

I am more flexible, I can do the splits and I can do a reversed 69. And oh, speaking of, I have a huge cock. But not too huge, just perfect. In fact, the new Me is designed with careful eye for details that matter. From the form of my nails to the size of my ears, I have a totally cool appearance. I have stronger legs and a bubble bum, fuller lips and better complexion. Touch the skin, feel the texture. It is actually a secret new type of skin which I cannot reveal to the competition, it is inspired by volcanic crystals.
The new Me.X does not go shopping to Zara or, god forbids, H&M. No, in the starting package package I come with Ralph Lauren polo and Gucci pants. The exclusive model comes with Armani double breasted tuxedos. The party goer hangs out in clubs dressed up in DSquared.

And just to show that I am talking the real thing here I have a special offer: you can try Me for a day. No strings attached. No hidden clauses, no limitations. So try Me for a change and I promise you won't be disappointed, well at least not until the next Me version.

Copyright © 2011 Paranoiatopia. All Rights reserved
RSS Feed. This blog is proudly powered by Blogger. Design by dzignine based on Minima-White code frameworks